Advice Column

Fixes for Goal-Setting Paralysis

December 16, 2022 Lisa Liguori Season 2 Episode 7
Advice Column
Fixes for Goal-Setting Paralysis
Show Notes Transcript

Do you get stuck when you try to set goals for the new year? You are not alone! It can be so intimidating to sit and stare at a blank page. Knowing there are limitless possibilities for your life is exciting but can also create pressure and "analysis-paralysis." In this episode Lisa Liguori shares the best answers successful goal-setters gave to how they overcome the most common goal-setting hurdles.

We're so glad you're here! Enjoy the episode. 

About Our Host:
Over the last 20 years, Lisa Liguori has enjoyed helped others live a wiser, more connected lives by facilitating group discussions revolving around shared life experiences. 

She believes that we’re better when we come together. Sharing our struggles, and how we overcame them, encourages others and accelerates our learning. That’s why she started the Advice Column Podcast.

Thank you for be here! You’re not alone. Together, we can live wiser, more effective lives.

Download Great Questions for Goal-Setting: https://advicecolumn.com/reflection-questions-for-goal-setting/

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

goals, obstacle, ideal outcome, question, blank page, life, description box, curated list, heard, show notes, friend, started, spelled, permission, goal setting, feeling, prompts, overcome, curate, setting

Lisa Liguori

0:00

It's important that we give ourselves permission to really tease out what we do want and not what others want us to want.

0:14

Hello, friend, welcome to advice column, where we share our life experiences with each other. So we can leverage the knowledge gained from multiple lives worth of experiences, to live with greater intention. In this episode, we're talking about goal setting. And if you're like me, sometimes when you sit down to set your goals, you just don't know where to begin. I was having a hard time with it feeling really intimidated and overwhelmed. So I started asking people how they overcome that and how they go about setting their goals. And I heard some really interesting themes.

0:50

The first obstacle people talked about was getting the goal setting question, right? So what did they even ask themselves to prompt them to come up with what they want? And one of the people that gave me some really interesting feedback was my mentor, Walter. He doesn't like the word goal. In fact, he likes to use the term ideal outcome. And he'll ask himself, if I was ideally successful, at the end of whatever period of time, his life the next five years this year, what would have happened? And how would I know it? What would I have seen? I really liked those questions. Because, number one, I like that he uses the word ideal. I think thinking in terms of ideal gives me permission to kind of dream and think big. It's like if I wave a magic wand, and I can make anything happen, what would I even want to get me in touch with what my desire is? And then I love that he goes from there to How would I know it? And what would I have seen? So he's breaking it down into concrete things that are measurable, then he uses those for his benchmarks along the way to his goal. So he comes up with the ideal outcome, and then he back plans. If I want that to happen in one year, where would I need to be, let's say in the first week, or the first month.

 2:17

Another common obstacle that people mentioned was the blank page problem. And by that, I mean that when you start with a blank page, it can be really intimidating to know where to begin. And to get going to address that several people told me that what they do is they start with something. So they either have question prompts they download from the Internet, or they start with last year's goals, or even borrow a friend's goals, and then use that as a jumping off point. There are so many great resources, what I'm going to do is curate some wonderful questions, whether it's the Wheel of Life framework, or just great prompts to get going, and I'll put them into a document and I'll link that in the show notes or description box, in case you're the kind of person that would rather start with something than that big white blank page.

 3:06

Another obstacle people mentioned is the too many possibilities. debility when there's so many possibilities, sometimes it's analysis paralysis, where we just get stuck trying to figure out what the best thing to do is because there's so many options. What I heard as the best method to overcome that is done is better than perfect. And I think this is one I really need to focus on. Because sometimes when it comes to goal setting, I'm afraid that once I put something down on paper, it feels like it's etched in stone. And I'm saying these are my values. And this is what I'm going to accomplish. And I'm afraid that if it's not perfect, because life is so precious to me that I don't want to put it down. So I think I'm going to try to remind myself that just having something is better than nothing. It's definitely a work in progress. And I can always tweak it later.

 4:01

Another obstacle, which is also one I really relate with, it's tackling too many goals. Sometimes by the time I lay out my goals, I'm exhausted just thinking about what I want to do, let alone doing it. And recently, I got together with a couple of friends and we just sat around the table and we were sharing our goals with each other. I started to read mine off and they just went whoa, whoa, whoa, wait too many. And they commented that when there are so many, quote unquote priorities, it really means there's no priority. So they were challenging me to just choose 123 goals and make them small and manageable and achievable. And I think that that's actually really good for my psychology because getting some wins helps me get momentum versus having this big Master Plan many years that as soon as I fall short of it goes out the window.

 4:58

Another obstacle that was a con

 5:00

And the my heard was not having complete clarity on what a goal is. And without that clarity, it's hard to unleash creativity toward it. So the more clear it is than the more creative we can get, and the more energy there is behind it. Recently, someone asked me a question that I think is really helpful in this area. What does Dunn look like? And I realized that in several areas of goal setting in my life, I don't actually know what done looks like. So I might know I want great health. But I haven't spelled out what that means, or I want to improve my personal development. But I haven't spelled out how I'll know when I crossed the finish line on that particular goal. So this year, I'm challenging myself whether I'm starting a new project, or I'm delegating it, to make sure I've spelled out what done looks like. And I think that that will really help with my energy, my motivation, my sense of accomplishment when I get there, and then my likelihood of achieving it.

 6:00

The last obstacle that I heard time and again from people was feeling like they should put certain things on their goals list or feeling guilty for the things that they wanted. I think to overcome that obstacle, it's important that we give ourselves permission to really tease out what we do want and not what others want us to want. Because I know for myself, when I choose things that are truly aligned with my heart's desire, I have a lot more energy to unleash toward them.

 6:33

Well, friend, I hope this was helpful as you think about your goals for the new year and beyond. And be sure to check out the downloadable in the show notes in the description box for a curated list of questions to get you going, if that helps. My hope and my prayer is that all of your goals and dreams come true this year. Thank you for being on this journey with me and I'll see you in the next episode.