Welcome to the Audio version of the newsletter 'Listening is Honoring'!
Have you read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe?
In one scene of that wonderful book, four children are living with a professor they’ve only just met. The siblings were sent to his home in the English countryside during Operation Pied Piper which relocated kids away from cities being bombed during World War II.
Two of the children, Peter and Susan, are concerned that their little sister, Lucy, has lost the ability to discern reality from imagination. They go to the professor to ask him what they should do. What transpires is a masterclass in honoring others through listening.
“So they went and knocked at the study door, and the Professor said “Come in,” and got up and found chairs for them and said he was quite at their disposal.
Then he sat listening to them with the tips of his fingers pressed together and never interrupting, till they had finished the whole story.
After that he said nothing for quite a long time.
Then he cleared his throat and said the last thing either of them expected: “How do you know,” he asked, “that your sister’s story is not true?”
Is the professor a class act, or what? I reflect on what he did. 1.He made time for them.
The professor invited the children into his study, welcoming them with his words and actions. I imagine how special the small children must have felt when the professor found chairs for them. 2. He allowed them to speak.
The professor listened intently, giving the children his focussed attention. He did not interrupt. I picture the way all of us, and especially young kids, can ramble when we are sharing something excitedly. I can imagine the kids doing this and the professor not rushing them, but allowing them to completely finish. 3. He paused.
The professor didn’t jump in the minute it was his turn. He was thoughtful and patient.
4.He asked a thoughtful question.
The professor showed respect to the children by asking them a question rather than telling them what to do. He also honored the little girl whose mental health was being questioned, by giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was telling the truth.
I want to be more like the professor, don’t you?
Make time. Listen carefully. Take it slow. Ask thoughtful questions that respect all who are involved. That’s a beautiful model.
Name, what is one of your favorite lessons from a real or fictional story in your life? I’d love to hear about it!
Hello friend, welcome to the audiovisual version of the advice column newsletter. In case you're like me and prefer listening or watching to reading things, I wanted to ask you have you ever read the book the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Children's Series by CS Lewis? In one scene of that wonderful book, which I just recently re-listened to all over again with this really great narrator maybe I'll put it in the show notes because he was so great with the accents and everything but in one of the scenes, the four children who are living with a professor that they've only just met. They were sent away in Operation Pied Piper during World War II from the city of London out to the countryside to try to get them away from the bombings. So these four siblings, two brothers, two sisters, are all living with this professor that they've just only met and they start to become concerned that their little sister, lucy, has lost the ability to discern reality from imagination because she's told them that she's found this magical wardrobe that will transport her into another land. So they don't know what to do and they go and knock on this kind of scary unknown professor's study door while he's in there and they ask him what should we do about this issue we're having with our little sister and her basically lying and telling, making up stories, and what happens in this short little scene, I think, is such a master class in how to honor other people through listening. So the passage says they went and knocked at the study door and the professor said come in and got up and found chairs for them and said he was quite at their disposal. Then he sat listening to them with the tips of his fingers pressed together and never interrupting till they had finished the whole story, and after that he said nothing for quite a long time. Then he cleared his throat and said the last thing either of them expected how do you know? He asked that your sister's story is not true. So this story really just warmed my heart and made me think so much about my listening, how short it comes up, but some things I can do to improve it. So this is what I noticed.
Speaker 1:
The first thing is that he made time for them. He invited them, these kids who may easily have been dismissed, he said, to come into his study. He welcomed them and with his words and his actions he got up, he found them chairs, he made them feel welcome and comfortable and like it was important to talk to them and give them time, and I think how special those little kids must have felt when a professor did that. He really honored them and then he allowed them to speak. He listened intently and he gave them his focused attention. I love that he didn't interrupt and he just sat very concentrated and paying attention to every word.
Speaker 1:
And I picture the way all of us, especially young kids, can ramble when we're sharing something and we're excited and we're just spewing it all out and I can imagine those kids just telling them their story excitedly and him not rushing them or trying to make them get to the point, just allowing them to completely finish. The third thing is he paused. He didn't jump in the minute that it was his turn, but he just let it sink in, reflected on what they said and gave it a moment, and he's showing a lot of importance to this interaction of spending time and listening to them. And then, lastly, number four he asked a thoughtful question and he showed respect for the children by asking them a question rather than telling them what to do or coming down with his verdict. It wasn't like he listened to everything and then issued a decision. He also honored the little girl whose mental health was being questioned by giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was possibly telling the truth.
Speaker 1:
So I think about this little vignette and I want to be more like the professor, don't you? I want to make time, listen carefully, take it slow and ask thoughtful questions that all show respect to the people who are involved in the conversation. I just think it's a really beautiful model. So what is one of your favorite lessons from a real or fictional story in your life? I'd love to hear about it. I'd love to hear. I think sometimes even children's books are the most powerful. But what are some tools you have gathered from stories or things that you do to be a better listener? Let me know, lisa at Advice Column, and thank you for sharing this journey, and the purpose of Advice Column, which is a nonprofit 501c3, is to share stories and conversations that are uplifting while encouraging or reminding you to connect to the best in yourself, others in the world. So thanks for being on this journey with me and I'll see you in the next video.